Jen needs - a meme

This meme has been popping up on facebook now and then. It's actually been going around the internet for several years now. I finally decided to try it. The funny thing is that I found tons of other "Jen needs" lists...some written as far back as 2005.

So here you go..this is what I need (according to Google).

Here are the directions, in case you want to join in the fun:
Type “[your first name] needs” into Google’s search engine and list the first ten results. Nearly all will be amusing, but you’re supposed to underline the ones that are actually true about you.

1. Jen needs to have a session or two with a therapist.
2. Jen needs rates on 2 scenarios.
3. Jen needs to find a self righteous, conspicuous "I'm better than you" charitable position so she can keep charming the sheep into thinking she matters a rat's ass.
4. Jen needs human anatomy lessons.
5. Jen needs to wise up.
6. Jen needs a muzzle.
7. Jen needs a tech makeover.
8. Jen needs you.
9. Jen needs to use the bathroom.
10. Jen needs a new job.