Barbies of Topeka

This is so funny. I didn't make it up but I had to share!


Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Topeka area market:

"Lake Sherwood Barbie"
This Princess Barbie is only sold at Westridge Mall.  Comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, Lexus SUV, long-haired foreign dog named Honey and cookie-cutter house.  Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift.  Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

" Potwin Barbie"
Modern Day Homemaker Barbie is available with Ford WindStar Minivan and matching gym outfit.  Gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.
Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

"Dirty South Barbie"
Recently Paroled Barbie comes with 9mm handgun, Ray Lewis knife, Chevy with dark-tinted windows, and Meth Lab Kit.  Model only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills).

"Clarion Woods Barbie"
Yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, American Express card and country club membership.  Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper.
 You won't be able to afford any of them.

"Carbondale Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, NASCAR T-shirt and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder.  Accessories include six-pack of Bud Light and Hank Williams Jr. CD set.  Doll can spit over 5 feet and kick Mullet-Haired Ken's butt when drunk.  Pickup truck sold separately and get a Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free!

"The College Hill Barbie"
This collagen-injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks Cosmopolitans while entertaining friends.  Percocet prescription available, as well as a warehouse conversion condo.

"North Topeka Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gutted Ken out of Montara Barbie's house.  Ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and see-through halter-top.  Also available with a mobile home.

" Downtown Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu.  She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow .  She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Barbie’s and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

" Montara Barbie"
This classic Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll.  Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass.  Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

 “Hayden High School Mom Barbie"
She's perfect in every way.  We don't know where Ken is because he's always hunting or fishing.

" Gage Park Barbie/Ken"
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.
 

what's your band name?

1 - Go to wikipedia and hit random. The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band. 2 - Go to quotationspage.com and hit random. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album. 3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”. Third picture no matter what it is, will be your album cover. 4 - Use picnik.com to put it all together.

yum

Liam tries green beans!

Liam's book

Click here to view this photo book larger

First Trick or Treat

IMG_8441
Originally uploaded by mypbandj.

Today I took Liam to his first Parents as Teachers playgroup. The kids were to play first then do some Trick or Treating though the elementary school. Maeve attends 5th grade there and she knew we were coming. She kept telling me what class she was in so we'd come see her.

Well, we got there early and I let Liam play in the infant section. They have a really cool foam pit that has textures, colors and mirrors. At first I held him as he stood next to it. He must have felt big because he was screeching like no other. Then I put him on his tummy in it. Some lady gave him a toy to look at and he got excited and pushed himself up on his hands and knees!!! Omg - he's too little. He's my baby. So I picked him up. Enough of that toy! lol

Then it was time for Trick or Treating and I felt kinda dumb. Like he's really gonna eat the candy! But I thought Maeve would want to see him and I didn't want to disappoint her.

We went around the school to the office, the library and the cafeteria. We weren't going to visit Maeve's room but we did pass it. So I stopped at the window and waved.

Maeve just stared at me. I held Liam up. "trick or treat! Look! It's your brother!". I must of been smiling and waving like a lunatic because she's looking at me like a deer in headlights. Her eyes are big and she's kinda shaking her head "no."

LOL I guess she didn't want to see us after all. I can't wait till she gets home to ask her. In the meantime, I'm enjoying Liam's candy!!

Brothers

Brennen (13 years) & Liam (13 weeks).